When I first saw this photo (taken by my talented friend Sarah Johnston), my honest and unfiltered response was “That’s way too feisty and sexy looking to use for marketing, Meghan.” Allowing the empowered, more sassy side of who I am to come forth seemed to somehow go against the professional identity I had constructed (especially as a licensed psychotherapist). So, the unspoken rule I was living was something like this: My sexy and feisty parts of self can come out to play in hip hop class, talking ridiculousness with girlfriends, or with my partner, but those parts are not allowed to show up in any area that might intersect with my professional realm. Seriously, y’all! I still find parts of myself that try to hide! My coaching and therapy work have both been deeply rooted in supporting clients in embracing real deal, unapologetic wholeness, so I MUST live into my own wholeness to the best of my ability. Congruency and authenticity are felt, even if unspoken. So when this blindspot became visible, I knew I had to own it.
A couple of years ago I navigated something similar when I decided to “out myself” for being intuitive and doing work from that place. I even used the word “intuitive” on my website! Gasp! What would people think about the legitimacy of my practice if I outed myself for embracing “the WOO?!!” Well, what happened is that it helped my ideal clients find me MUCH more easily and allowed ME to step more fully and joyfully into doing the unique flavor of work I was put on this planet to do. That being said, it can be terrifying to step out of the lines of our comfortable and “safe” identities! I realized that I had been cramming my expanding, Fierce Loving, quirky, feisty, intuitive, walking glorious paradox of a woman self into a box much smaller than my full Self. . . again! Closeting parts of the Self sucks, and when I catch myself doing it (because old habits die real hard!), I now know that I have the power to create a new choice and new way of BEing with myself, and in the world.
When we neglect, orphan, or hide parts of our authentic Self, we suffer. Period. When we live into the “shoulds” of life more than our authentic wholeness we tend to feel uninspired, depressed, trapped, limited, or anxious – really, it just feels heavy and shitty. Been there? (Probably LOTS of hands raised on that one)
I had been feeling this sense of restriction and “cramming” again recently, so I made a big decision. I decided last week that over the next couple of months I will officially be stepping away from practicing therapy to put my energy fully into my coaching practice. In coaching there are fewer rules about personal disclosure, more space for outside of session relationship and support, and much greater permission for me to publicly be a multifaceted (think disco ball) example of living honest and courageous
Living from a place of wholeness means that we are actively exploring, accepting and daring to embrace ALL of who we are to live into it more fully. Wholeness is courageously making space to integrate, own, and create a relationship with that multifaceted FULL Self within, even if we are discerning about how and where we share certain parts (because discernment and boundaries get to be an important thing too!) WE must make space for our own wholeness in order to walk through life with a greater sense of peace and authentic confidence. If we want life to feel full, expansive, and whole, it is OUR responsibility to choose truth over rules, stories, and conditioning (over and over again), even when it’s scary.
Wholeness = owning + living into BEing the person we were born to be, and living from this sense of heart-centered and unapologetically badass wholeness leads to a life of magic, BIG love, and deep authentic connection.
And really, who doesn’t want a life of juicy connection with a heaping side of magic?!!!